Independence (A Eulogy)

Too often we're suckered by that same, sad dream. You know the one. The one we're taught all our lives is some lofty ideal, an admirable goal for which we must strive, must beat ourselves into submission that we might one day obtain. That we MUST achieve. Each and every one of us, built and destined for the same inalienable accomplishment, the grand litmus test for whatever passes as “functional” in a country teetering on the brink. Our culture depends upon it. Our nation is defined by it. And we are ruined by it.

Independence.

Such an ideal is held high with noble intent, unbeknownst to most that it bears down upon countless in horrendous, muted ways.

How many suffer in silence in a society that praises independence as ideal? It is silently frowned upon to need another, in any form. Our culture tells us to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, stand tall, face the trial, and endure. They are even praised who would lend a hand to another, offering support and aid where needed. But where do we relegate those in need? They're labeled the victim, the persecuted, troubled, needy, weak. They are treated as lesser.

They are each and every one of us.

In a culture that denies our right to be anything short of perfect, where strength is praised and so-called weakness is something to be conquered, one of the strongest things a person can do is admit they are weak.

Each and every one of us is weak. It does not matter the person, everyone struggles with something. Confidence, anxiety, intelligence, knowledge, physical ability, (culturally mandated) aesthetics, popularity, perception. Mathematical acumen, writing, art, cooking, creativity. Understanding, application, testing. Humility, compassion, empathy. Sense of self. Identity. Loving. The list could be endless, because it is different for each and every one of us, an infinite combination of areas in which there will always be shortcomings. In which no one person will ever be able to succeed.

That's why independence is so dangerous. We are each of us a fragment of a person, improved upon by those with whom we differ. The more we are able to love those that are not like us, those that we do not understand, the more complete we will be. Our strengths are meant to build one another up, to buttress the areas in each other where we might somehow fall short.

If I do not know you are weak, how can I offer you my strength?

If you do not know I am weak, what hope is there for me?

Certainly independence is a powerful tool, one important to each, lest we succumb and become slaves and burdens to others. But let us shatter the perception of independence as some ideal, hindering us from connecting with others in truly meaningful ways. Let the strength of another be your own; let your strength be for another.

Admit, and accept, that you are weak; there is great strength to be found there.