The Light Between Excerpt

[This child frightens me. I do not know what to do. I can not bear the thought of giving birth, yet every time I have sought... other solutions... something has prevented me. I know now, I will have it. I have no choice. But that doesn't mean I have to keep it.]

[... does it?]

[The doctors say there is nothing wrong; no sign of injury of any kind, no damage whatsoever. The baby is healthy as can be, and so am I. But then why do I wake up feeling as though my womb is on fire, like flames will eat through my stomach at any moment? Why must I spend a portion of every day in such AGONY that I break, contemplating suicide when I never thought I would? I know this is not normal. I know he is not normal.]

[He. I know it is a he. I have not had a sonogram to learn the gender, but I don't have to; this baby is a he. And it isn't like so many parents who are convinced of the gender prior to testing; in this case, I know, as sure as I am that I am not going to live through this. I will die in childbirth, and I will never have a chance to warn anyone about him, and it is a boy. I know. I know.]